Mary Long

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Mary Long is a hypocrite 
C/G Gm 
She does all the things that she tells us not to do 
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Selling filth from a corner shop 
C/G Gm 
And knitting patterns to the high street queue 
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She paints roses, even makes them smell good 
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And then she draws titties on the khazy wall 
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Drowns kittens just to get a thrill 
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And writes sermons in the Sun-day Chronicle 
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How did you lose your virginity, Ma-ry Long ? 
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When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ? 
 
Mary told Johnny not to write such trash 
Said it was a waste of public money 
She made a fuss, they made apologies 
But everybody thought the show was funny 
When the nation knew you?d had children 
It came as such a surprise 
We really didn?t know you?d had it in you 
How you did it we can only surmise 
 
How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ? 
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ? 
 
Mary Long, you?re not alone 
But you?re a long way behind our times 
What we do in full frontal view 
Is more honest than your clean-up mind 
What I?m saying, Mary Long is 
When you can spare a minute 
Go find your friend the y Lord 
Dig your self a hole and jump in it 
 
How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ? 
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?